i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
