nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
