If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think I am morally bankrupt
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
