Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There r osticjed everywhere
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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