It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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