Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
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I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
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His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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