Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
