so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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