No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
