I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her