Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw