Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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