It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
