he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
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There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
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Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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