You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
