Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize