What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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