K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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