420 ftw
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Someone signed my nipple.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
