i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
