If i come over, it means nothing
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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