She's JV to your varsity
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
