I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Rumble strips road head = magical
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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