I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
