dude i'm inner monologue high
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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