sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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