...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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