matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize