I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
