South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
