So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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