Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize