i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.