is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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