He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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