Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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