pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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