Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
