I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
