i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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