Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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