I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
