You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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