i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
