I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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