I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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