I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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