I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
