Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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