So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I am naked and annoyed.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
