I love black thongs
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
