I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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