I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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