We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
