I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
