is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
