he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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