I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
