New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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