we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Randomize
