This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
