yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
